


I Am The Apeman

by yomgopollo



Category: Furry (Fandom), Hmofa
Genre: Dreams, F/M, Furry, Human, I'm actually not positive on the breed I based it on artwork by Guoh, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Japanese Macaque, Love, Monkeys, Relationship(s), Romance, capybara, human male on female anthro, man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yomgopollo/pseuds/yomgopollo
Summary: Anon doesn't really like his simian coworker Lola, but she's trying to change that
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	I Am The Apeman

Why had this damn monkey latched on to him of all people??

Oh right.

Anon paced nervously around the little elevator as it made its way down the side of massive complex. His job was somewhere up in the middle rungs of the dreaded accounting department, sectioning him off from a large portion of OmniTrust’s many facilities. 

Still, sometimes the fax machine was jammed and he was chosen to deliver the documents by hand. And that meant Lola.

Lola was an anthro, a monkey at that, who worked in the engineering bay in what seemed like the deepest parts of the earth. She was friendly, short, and her arms nearly reached the floor (which for some reason really skeeved Anon out). Tons of people in his department told him they loved Lola, enjoyed her chipper attitude and invitations to play poker with the rest of the engineering time. Difference was, they were anthros too, meaning they didn’t have quite the same interactions with the dreaded Monkey.

To put it simply, Lola adored Anon and could not get enough of him. Whether it be her repeatedly sending requests for him personally to come deal with some non-problem, inventing situations where the pair would be in close proximity, or convincing his co-workers to join in on the scheme, it seemed the monkey was quite infatuated with the little human.

Anon chalked it up to theme both having a common ancestor, and that connecting a dot in her monkey head.

“Yo! Anon.”

Joy.

Lola always came running up to him in this school-girl like glee, bouncing from hand to foot as she sprinted across the warehouse.  
She’s always have this little curt smile on, eyes twinkling - it was cute, even Anon could admit that.

Her approach caused him to notice the lighter choice in clothing today, with only a black tank top and sweatpants covering her toned body. He could damn well see her muscles, and the choice of a pulling her hair in a ponytail made her look even more athletic.

“What’s up, Lola,” Anon said, trying not to make eye contact.

“Ohh same old same old, my simian pal,” again with the little fucking grin, argh. “How’s the weather up there?”

“Corporate is really busting our asses about this rocket launch failure thing, so no luck there.”

It was weird, how easy casual conversation felt with Lola, someone he always dreaded experiencing. Must be a primate thing. 

She adopted an apologetic visage, nearly putting one of her—aghh too-long-arms on his shoulder, but she must have sensed his apprehension.

“I feel ya, buddy- you wanna follow me?” She threw a hand over her shoulder, starting a brisk pace.

They walked through the warehouse, Lola checking behind her continually to make sure he was still following, and Anon getting caught watching her shoulder blades move as she walked- she was really fit, come to think of it. Gave her kind of a squirrelly energy.

“What’s got your mind in a tiffy, big guy?” She slowed down to walk beside him.

“I dunno, I’ve been having these really weird dreams recently,” Anon began.

That part was true, he’d been visiting this incredibly vivid worlds with scantly any people besides himself. There were these horrible giant creatures that would always be searching for any sign of life. His entire life was spent avoiding them and trying to survive.

Also Lola was there.

In this dreamworld, they traveled together, spending practically all of their time together surviving the desolate wasteland.

Also Anon thinks they were married in these dreams because sometimes she would just gently stroke his face, and one time he caught himself kissing her on the side of a furry cheek. But he didn't tell her that part.

“No kidding?” Lola stretched her long arms behind her head “cause I’ve been having these wicked ones myself-“

They rounded a corner as Lola told Anon about these sky pirate dreams she’d been having over the weekend, something about her being an indelible rogue captain over a bunch of pirates resembling her coworkers down in engineering. It sounded pretty wild, until she mentioned offhandedly that Anon was her first mate. Of course, why not.

As she kept talking, Anon started to zone out and considered just why he seemed to put off by Lola’s mannerism. He didn’t consider himself speciesist, at least not that degree. Plus, she was a monkey, meaning they had a little more common ground that most.

Looking over, Anon notices the hints of little fangs that were visible over her smile, the way she shifted weight from one limb to the next, even the way that her butt seemed to wiggle from side to side gently as she talked.

“Anon?”

“Ye?”

“We’re here.”

So they were, the foreman’s office. Lola fished out a keychain and set to work separating the right key as Anon avoided looking anywhere too long.

“When’s Sam coming back?” Anon asked, referring to the regular foreman that had been on workman’s comp the last few weeks.

“Huh? Oh, I dunno, she’s still wheelchair bound so I don’t think it’s anytime soon,” Lola started to mumble.

As she pushed open the door, Anon was caught first at how strong of a scent Lola had established in her new base of operations. Like the rest of her, it was earthy and distinctively mild. Lola seemed to catch him smelling and gave an expression he couldn’t place.

“Yeah just put the docs over here or whatever,” she said, a bit frazzled. 

After placing them on her cluttered desk, he looked over to see the fax machine looking fully operational.

“Hey, what’s wrong with the fax, I thought it was broke-“

“Ahah yeah! It’s, uh, installing new drivers, the damn thing has been all morning!”

Awkward silence. In the middle of Lola’s shouting, her hair fell out of its ponytail - Anon noticed it looked really nice on her, too.

“Riiight- well, I should get back up there. Numbers and all that,” Anon said as he turned to leave.

“Wait!” Lola yelled, nearly leaping towards him. “You wanna, um, hang out for a little while? I got Coke in the fridge and...”

She had started twirling her thumbs. Anon looked like he was considering it, before something crossed his mind.

“Sorry, maybe another time, we’re really behind on this years taxes...” 

she looked deflated, seriously crushed, and it pulled at his heartstrings as he stepped through the doorway. Looking back, he gave her  
a casual wave and a smile, something she returned in earnest.

Once she heard his footsteps fade away, Lola crumpled onto the desk, groaning and berating herself for being so stupid. She made a note to text Emily upstairs the details.

\---

Emily spotted Anon stumbling out of the elevator looking pretty frazzled (he always seemed that way) but this seemed different.

Had the love plan gone accordingly? He wasn’t gone for that long, but she’d read somewhere that humans were more casual and quick in their lovemaking, so maybe they’d already sealed the deal.

Following weeks of Lola begging and begging her for love advice after Emily started sitting with the Monkey at lunch, the match-making plan seemed to be going their way, for once.

Still, it couldn’t hurt to find out herself.

As Anon refolded a dollar bill on the side of the vending machine, he caught his coworker Emily approaching from behind. To Anon, the capybara was someone who probably meant well but who also constantly invaded his personal space. He liked her, and she seemed to think he was an alright guy - in other words, very transactional in their relationship. 

“Hey, Anon,” Emily began, putting her phone in a jacket pocket. “What’s shaking?”

What was with anthros and their weird pick up lines.

“Nothing much,” Anon said as he pulled the wrinkly dollar bill out of the machine, moving to flatten it “I was just delivering those documents you wanted sent down to engineering.” He trailed off.

“Uh huh, uh huh?” The capybara had this unreadable expression on. “Anyone down there?”

“Well, yeah, it’s a weekday-”

“Anyone I know?”

He paused, looking down at her in her beady little capybara eyes.

“The person everyone in this office seems determined to set me up with,” Anon said as the machine successfully accepted his dollar. “The only other primate in the whole building.”

Oh shit, Emily thought to herself, he’s onto me. He’s onto all of us! Keep cool, throw him off the trail.

“Sam? Oh, I thought she was still off on workman’s comp-”

“Lola! I mean Lola, for god’s sake,” Anon yelled as slammed on the keypad. It selected a bag of honey roasted peanuts and dropped them  
into the receptacle. “It’s like everywhere I look, there she is! Everyone in the office magically seems to bring her up in conversation- it’s driving me bananas!”  
...  
“Anon I had no idea you were this obsessed with our dear Lola! Maybe I should set the two of you up sometime! Y'know, I was getting the feeling you'd pair up nicely, considering-” 

Emily turned to see Anon already walking the other way, happily eating his peanuts. Emily huffed, as this wasn’t the first time he  
pulled this on her. Or Lola, she’d learned from their conversations.

Speaking of…

Whipping out her phone, Emily noticed dozens of text messages from the contact LOLA-MONKEYLOVE.

“Oh dear,” Emily muttered to herself, scurrying away to her cubicle with little legs. “Oh dear oh dear oh dear.”


End file.
